No! No!! No!! I can’t believe it. I said to myself pacing up and down the room
No it can’t be. I was agitated, yet unsure of what Mark told me.
Were they true? Does it worth believing?
I slumped on the nearest sofa in the room recalling the past. An horrid one I can’t bear to forget. Because I do remember everyday.
I was just twenty years of age then For God’s sake. Why should I be the one to face that?
And now Mark is trying to tell me such horrid past was caused by my husband. No, No ; I refuse to believe it.
My husband must confess with his mouth the truth , but frankly speaking I was scared.
What if Mark was right? What would I do to my husband? What if my husband knew and certainly was pretending? I told him my past because I trusted and loved him.
No!! No!!! It definitely can’t be, I said clenching my feet together unsure of what to believe
The following week…
John came back home, happily his daughter welcomed him back but his wife wasn’t present to welcome him. That was so unlike her— He thought
” Julie, where is your mom?” He asked her
” Mum is sleeping, she had been tired since morning busy preparing your food and taking care of the house ” she replied.
” Oh, that’s good; let me surprise her” he replied with a happy smile.
Juliana chuckled and both walked into the house while the father climbed the stairs to meet his wife in the room. He entered the room smiling and saw his wife sleeping soundly. He sat down and prayed to God for the journey mercies granted, yet his wife was still sleeping.
As he was about standing up to have his meal, she rose up with no hint of happiness on her face despite seeing her husband. She looked disturbed and her eyes were filled with hurt, he was concerned as he walked up to her asking in a concerned tone. But she looked away from him trying to hide her tears.
” Am scared dear, what’s wrong with you?” he asked really concerned. Trying to hold her hands, she wouldn’t let him
Not knowing what to say , he did what he knows best ” Am sorry if I have offended you, am really sorry ” he said hoping that would make her look at him. Whenever his wife refuses to look at him, he tries to always apologize despite not knowing what was wrong and they easily settle their dispute but this was way more harder than he thought.
He heaved deeply and made a last try ” I love you, and I really do ; so please tell me what’s wrong?” he said with a worried tone
Joy turned to look at him with a tear filled eyes ” Do you really love me?” she asked unsure of herself
“Of course I do and you know I do”
” Then why?”
“Why what?” He replied scared of her question
” Why did you hide so much from me?” she asked in a broken voice
John was surprised and didn’t know what to say, what exactly was his wife driving at. What has he hidden from her?
” You knew right from the start didn’t you?” Joy muttered the strength to ask looking at him
He paused and with a confused look asked ” Knew what exactly Joy? Tell me what’s wrong with you”
She hesitated to talk but decided to let the cat out of the bag. Her resolve was shaking, she had loved this man like she never loved any man, sacrificed a lot for him and yet she couldn’t bear to hear the truth from him
Was Mark right or wrong? There was only one way to know and right now she felt the need to know; its high time she remember her past even though it hurt
” Nineteen years ago, my story.. What actually happened? ” she asked and waited for his answer.
I was eager to get home , I couldn’t wait to meet my family especially my lovely wife, so lost was I in my thought of happiness when Pastor Kevin, my old time friend called me. I was happy to meet him, we had become close especially during our training days of becoming a pastor. I tell him virtually everything and he was like an elder brother that I couldn’t have. Indeed a Family to me
He smiled at me and gave me that manly and fatherly hug. We greeted each other since it’s been long I saw him after his transfer to Abuja.
“John, how are you?” he said smiling after the hug.
“Pastor Kevin, long time” I replied with a wide grin
He frowned at me ” I told you no Pastor attached to the name, am Kevin; your elder brother ;so call me bro Kevin ” he said chuckling after his words. Both laughed and exchanged pleasantries asking about the family and the likes.
“Let’s take a stroll towards the park” Kevin suggested and they turned walking towards the allocated space for parking.
“How is your wife?” he asked
John smiled ” I forgot to tell you that she is pregnant “
“Seriously congratulations” he said happily
“God indeed answers prayers, but how did it happen? The doctors said she can’t be pregnant again”
“I seriously don’t know my brother, it’s just God” I replied with a grateful smile
” So how far John? When will you tell her?” Kevin mentioned and I had to halt my walking step.
I turned to him with a confused look, I understand fully well why he asked that. I haven’t been able to muster courage to tell my wife. I loved her, what will she say when she knows the truth? I feared losing the woman I had come to love despite what I did in my past.
Kevin looked at me and patted me on the shoulder, he heaved deeply
“You have to tell her before she knows herself”
“I know it isn’t easy, you are scared of losing her right?”
I nodded in affirmation
“That’s why you have to pray to God before telling her, God owns her heart not you so leave the case to God, do your part by telling her this week” he advised.
I heaved deeply yet unsure of what to do..
” I just felt heavy in my heart and I had to tell you; yes what you did was unfair to her but am sure its well” he encouraged me.
” Don’t delay before its late ” Kevin said walking towards his car as he waved me bye.
And then I made up my mind .l definitely must tell her the truth of what happened nineteen years ago. I was twenty three years of age then. I made a fatal mistake.
Now here am I with the truth staring at me to be told. What should I say? I can’t lie but am afraid of losing the woman I so much love. Why did such happen? Why must she know now especially when she was just pregnant with their child. He muttered the courage to answer her question.
With a trembling voice ” I ……”