” I disown you as my son”
My earth stood still. What did I just hear my father say?
Disown me? What have I done to deserve being disowned?
My mother sobbing knelt before my dad “Oko Mi, I beg you, you are all this poor boy has in life, you know I have nothing, nothing at all?” She said with a tear filled eyes and a pained voice. A mother indeed. But why must she beg her husband?
She held my hand and gestured me to kneel down along with her to beg Dad. God forbid!!! I… can’t, I thought within myself, for my father saw the arrogance displayed on my face, he became more angry
” Didn’t I say it? I said this boy is disrespectful, see his reaction ” he said motioning my mother to see the look on my face. My mother rose up and gave me a sound beating on the shoulder. I felt the pain and became more angry.
“What?” I shouted at my mom and she retrenched in fear of my voice. I was angry. Was my father really my father? How could he disown me without battling an eye? What have I done that other kids my age haven’t done?
” I have had enough in this house, why are you all so self absorbed? Is it my fault? So why put the blame all on me?” I said in an angry tone making my father paused for he was about talking
” Jimmy, keep quiet and beg your Dad?” My mother said trying to get me kneel down and beg but I wasn’t going to yield , no not today
“Mum, I can’t beg that man, who calls himself my dad?” I said glaring at my so called father in the eye.. Of course, what gut? But I knew not what came upon me for I was so bold and yet fed up
My mother gave me a dirty slap across the face, holding the face I looked at her, her eyes were swollen with tears also.
“No matter what Jimmy, he is still your dad”
“No, he is not my own dad; for no father behaves so irresponsible as this man” I said this time with a raised tone. My father was steaming hot with anger but I cared less. His anger can only lead to my death and nothing more.
“Jimmy, please beg him.. Your dad is getting angry.. He is all you have on earth” Mum continued pleading with me.
No, she was wrong, my dad wasn’t all I had, I have her and having her with me no matter what was enough.
“Mum, have had enough with him, just because he is rich, does that count as something? I don’t need his money for am not proud to call him dad”
My mother looked at me with shock
“Jimmy, what’s wrong with you?”
I kept mute not wanting to answer my Mum, breaking her heart was not in my plan. She so much loved her husband
“Talk to me son” she pleaded holding my hand
I looked at her and saw her desperacy, she knew absolutely nothing about her husband
My behaviour towards my dad had taken a turn when I saw what I wasn’t suppose to see. He… sleeping with my classmate from school on the matrimonial bed. I had kept shut once since he begged me to but it happened almost every time and I kept getting furious.
I didn’t want to let the cat out of the bag for I can’t fathom a broken home but my father’s behaviour towards me drinking and smoking irritated me. He was no way better than me, how dare he tell me what to do?
I wanted to keep shut but hearing the word “disown” made me infuriated.
“Talk Jimmy” my mother constant plea brought me to reality. I looked at my father whose eyes were pleading for me to keep quiet. But I wasn’t ready to be quiet. So I let the cat out of the bag and then…
My mother slumped and fainted… she had a weak heart
How could I had forgotten my mother had a weak heart? I knelt down by her and cried. Looking at my father, who eyes were filled with regretful tears
” Why? And you called yourself a Christian? I mean, my mother was the best wife you could ever find” I said expecting an answer from him.
But none came.
Did I just kill my mother because of my anger towards my dad? Why haven’t I been patient? Why has my ego destroyed me?
But then I felt a warm hand holding my middle finger. I turned and saw my mother smiling weakly at me. She is alive. That alone gave me joy.
“Mum” I said happily trying to help her up
” Jimmy… it’s OK ” she said trying to find her voice and recovering from the shock of what she heard.
“Mum, it isn’t OK; this family has fallen apart” I said in tears.
It was reality that my mum didn’t want to embrace. The family is in shambles.
“Darling, am sorry” my dad pleaded. Could he be sorry? His actions weren’t a mistake, he did it knowingly.
My mum looked at him for now she could stand with my support ” I don’t know what to say to you, but…” she paused biting her lips in annoyance and tears falling down her eyes
” Since, you didn’t deny it when Jimmy talked, I guess it was true, anyways ” she clenched her hands into her cloth and smiled bitterly
” You requested for divorce yesterday, but I was pleading with you to be considerate for Jimmy’s sake”
Divorce. I thought. Wow, my dad has really thought it through, he was indeed ready.
“Dear, the divorce I mentioned yesterday was a joke, believe me” he said looking at his wife. The look on her face meant she was serious with what she was about to say now
” Let’s separate, I am tired of you” she said sternly
And that was the last thing my mother said as we both left my father who was pleading with her to stay but her mind was made up.
It has really fallen apart…. The family has fallen apart…
That was the last time I heard of my father, its been Five years now.. He never cared about our wellbeing for his wife died a year after they separated. My mother died with a sad countenance.
I sat by the sub way waiting for the bus to take me home, I was lost in thought
I still blamed myself for what happened years back, had I listened to my mum and beg, perhaps my parents will still be together. Just then, a lady tapped me and smiled at me.
“You look so lost in thought”
” Its well, my brother for as long as you still live, things are going to fall in place even when it has fallen apart, just trust me; with time it will” she said smiling and I felt at ease. She left shortly after.
I decided to make things up with my Dad, no matter what he was still my father though I realised that late for my ego and pride won’t let me. I don’t care, if he was married again but I just want to tell him am sorry
He had died and it was really late
Have things really fallen apart?
Have you by virtue of anger, pride or ego destroyed things?
Or do you suffer from irrecoverable loss because of your action?
Have things really fallen apart?
Well, it has but things fall apart, for them to fall into place in life.
At times, our ego and pride makes us lose things but when it happens as long as you live and you are still alive… things haven’t fallen apart.
Yes, you can still make amend. It can still fall in place for as long as you still LIVE
You Living means there’s still HOPE no matter your mistakes…
” Things fall apart for it to fall in place” . It just takes time.