Self Thought

The post isn’t about me, it happens to us all a times and we didn’t notice…
The pressure was becoming too much for me to handle, I was losing my focus and stand.
The fact that my friend has more beautiful clothes than I do stressed a lot out of me , sooner it turned to jealousy and then hatred.
I tell people I don’t hate anyone, but then something keeps telling me I do, though it was unknown to me but deep down I hated my friend for having ‘too much’ than I had.
The fact that someone writes better than I do tugs my heart with bitterness, I am better than him, how dare he correct me;  he was my friend but I hated him for being better than me
My parents did their best when it comes to taking care of me, but whenever I see my friend’s parents , I get jealous and gradually hated my parents for being poor.
I tried to curb being jealous but it keeps coming, before I knew it, I was destroyed having hatred towards those I love because of possessions.
It came to a point in time, I forgo the necessity to compete with my friends in dressing, I told lies about my parents to stand in the class of the rich. But it wasn’t easy because that wasn’t who I am. I was just being a carbon copy; I was unsettled at heart and disturbed in my soul.
My conscience told me to stop and be the natural me but NO, I was still pressed on feeling among even though I was being fake.
So what can be done? I am confused.
Should I stop being friends with the rich? I was getting damaged by jealousy turned hatred.
So I told myself to be disciplined and satisfied with the little I had.
Its best to be comfortable with what I have than live as a living ghost who hates everyone for getting better and can’t cope with other people’s success. I shouldn’t try to be who am not because of hatred and jealousy.
I will say again to myself that I must be disciplined and satisfied with what I have and who I really am .

What are your opinions towards dealing with jealousy and hatred according to the post above?

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