9 signs you are in a toxic relationship as a Christian

“We should fight for our relationships, but if fighting means ripping yourself to shreds and piggybacking all his/her demons, you need to leave.” – Tara Love

“It is better to be single with a high standard, than in a relationship settling for the less.”

Have you ever experienced an ill-fated or toxic relationship with your spouse, family member, and people you call close friends? Or, have you seen someone experiencing hardship or toxicity in their relationship with their spouse or family members, and you are in the position to help the person but you can’t because you have no knowledge and experience about it? This content will enlighten you on what a toxic relationship is, how to know if you are in one, and the way out of a toxic relationship.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel insecure, misunderstood, unsupported, unimportant, and absent of love. A toxic relationship does not only exist between lovers or couples, it exists between family relationships, friendship, and sometimes, your place of work. A relationship can be classified as toxic when the mental, physical and emotional health is affected negatively. All abusive relationships are toxic.

How do you know you’re in a toxic relationship?

 A normal and healthy relationship breeds happiness, love, joy, and care. When your relationship with someone makes you sad, cry, and destabilized, just know that your relationship is toxic. There are many signs and ways that point at you being in a toxic relationship. These are, but are not limited to:

1. You are in a toxic relationship when you always feel insecure around your partner.
2. You are in a toxic relationship when you’re always emotionally, physically, and mentally disabled and unstable.
3. You are in a toxic relationship when you give your best to make things work but you get fewer results.
4. You are in a toxic relationship when your partner is never wrong. Your partner is always right and you take the blame for everything.
5. You’re in a toxic relationship when your relationship is based on one-sided love.
6. You are in a toxic relationship when you experience physical abuse always.
7. You’re in a toxic relationship when you feel sad or depressed at a slight thought of your partner.
8. You’re in a toxic relationship when all your partner care for is sex and is not after your well-being.
9. You are in a toxic relationship when you always feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, and attacked.

 Can a Christian be toxic to their partner?  

Generally, people think that if you are a Christian, you have automatically become a saint that cannot sin anymore. You might have heard that “if you marry a Christian, you can’t experience an ill-fated relationship.” That is a blunt lie. Haven’t you heard of Christians that beat their wives to plump? Haven’t you heard of Christian homes where their partner died of depression, high blood pressure, and all manners of diseases that can be treated to the effect of a toxic relationship?

A Christian can be toxic to their partner because toxicity does not deal with Christianity, but with human behavior. For example, the lady that sang Ekueme died as a result of a toxic relationship regardless of her partner being a Christian. If you marry out of the will of God, there is a high tendency to experience a toxic relationship even if you marry a Christian.

How to get out of a toxic relationship

I know it is hard to leave a toxic relationship, especially if you love your partner wholeheartedly. But you have to leave, no matter how hard it is for your safety. You might be thinking that there is no way out of the relationship, don’t be dismayed because there is a way out.

1. Stand firm in your decision to leave: You must hold on to your choice of leaving the relationship, which means you’ll have to close your ears to advice and pleas from people or your partner. Your partner might want to apologize and give fake promises in order for you to stay, but holding firm to your decision will aid your release.
2. Know that you deserve better: Have the understanding that you deserve better in life compared to your toxic relationship. Knowing this will aid your quick disconnection from your partner.
3. Seek professional help: it is advisable for you to see a therapist in order to heal the emotional, mental, and physical trauma that you’ve passed through. You can’t heal alone but you need the help of professionals.
4. Cut off contact: After you’ve broken up with your toxic partner, cut off every means of contact because he/she might use those mediums to remind you of your past which might cause another damage to yourself.
5. Surround yourself with positivity: Be positive always in your speech, actions, thoughts, and attitude. Let everything that surrounds you breeds positivity. Also, surround yourself with positive people and friends, and read positive books.
6. Express your feelings: Before leaving your partner, express your feelings and emotions to him/her. Don’t leave with so much burden, lighten the weight. But express it without blaming your partner.
7. Move closer to God: To heal faster, you need to be in intimacy with God. He is the best partner you can talk to.

         A toxic relationship is not the best place to be because you’ll be putting your physical, mental, and emotional life in danger. You deserve the best and you can only get the best if you are determined to leave that toxic relationship you are in now. You need to be happy always and only a healthy relationship can breed the happiness and joy that you deserve.

If you have any questions or you want to send your feedback, use the comment section below