Is it my fault?

Is it my fault? But no one asked

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“Is it my fault oh lord?” his gaze on the ceiling of the room, a long stare at the roof and he felt he was gazing at heaven as the tears rolled down his eyes.

Broken and hurt.

Kelvin packed his Bible in his pouch together with a jotter. Tucking in the pen into his pant and as he was almost stepping out of the room, he remembered something. He hardly goes anywhere without his watch and today won’t be an exception

Go with me lord. He muttered putting on his shoes.

Kelvin stepped out of his room when Felix one of his compound mate greeted him, Felix was seated together with his group of friends. They hailed him “Pastor!!!”

Managing a smile, he returned their greeting. It was Sunday for goodness sake and here they were seated on the pavement.

Stroking his beard, Kelvin asked “Today is Sunday, no church?”

“Pastor, leave that one alone abeg, Church is only for festive period. Today no be Christmas now, abi?” One replied as others joined laughing.

“And I would love to see you in church today” Kelvin presented

“Don’t worry, we will come now” a tall bearded guy replied

“Pastor, just pray for us. You know, final year exams starts soon. We must make it oh” Felix said rubbing his head.

Kelvin shook his head and bid them farewell reminding them of the need to attend a church service on Sunday. They paid no attention as usual but kept hailing him Pastor.

The name “Pastor” was given to him when he had prayed for someone in his compound who was almost dying. It was only through God he could achieve such feat, although he prayed that God should by the miracle bring his compound mates to himself.

But it never happened.

Pastor… Was he even one?? He scoffed thinking about a whole lot of things.

“Brother Kelvin, can you help us lead the prayers? Just for 30 minutes? “David, the follow up coordinator pleaded

“Oh, I wasn’t informed; I would have come prepared” he replied though David spoke not a word yet

“You are a prayer warrior now, God will use you whether prepared or not, just kindly help; Pastor Tim who was to take the prayers isn’t coming due to unforeseen circumstances”

“Okay, no problem then. God is in control “Kelvin concluded.

He carried his Bible and walked up to the pulpit.

“Praise the Lord”

“Hallelujah!!!” the people chorused

“Let us pray”

“Ah, Brother Kelvin; I must confess, God is really using you. I bless God for your life. I pray we have more firebrands for the Lord. The prayer section was glorious, God bless you“ The woman coordinator confessed smiling.

Not knowing what to say, he kept saying Amen

Two weeks later

“The likes of Brother Kelvin do not need to be argued about. He is a holy brother, in fact whenever I pray for people in the church during my devotion, Brother Kelvin rarely comes to my mind. He is a prayer warrior and am sure he prays for himself” Gbade said looking at his friends

“During the last Bible study when Pastor John was asking about how our quiet time was, he skipped Brother Kelvin because he knew if no one else will observe their quiet time, Brother Kelvin will” Tosin added

Others nodded their heads in affirmation

“May God help us also to be just like him. He is holy and prayerful. I envy him at times though “Dele added adjusting his neck tie

Yemi joined in the conversation “God will forgive you all”

“Haha, why that? Bro Yemi“ Gbade asked as others murmured

“Hmm, I just wished brother Kelvin is here to hear you speak”

“We said nothing wrong, I would be more than glad if he was here with us” Dele replied with an assured tone

“You did wrong everyone; now listen to me” Yemi scolded

They all adjusted themselves on their seats with ready voices to attack if Yemi ever scolded them wrongly.

“Brother Gbade, why won’t you pray for him? Is it because he prays also? Or you felt he has no need of prayers? Because he is holy? That’s so wrong. Do you really think he observes his quiet time every day? What if he is still battling with hidden sins and he has no one to talk to because everyone sees him as holy? What if all I said was right? What if? Have you ever asked him how his personal prayer life is faring? Have you ever asked if he needs help or even pray for him without him asking? Have you ever visited him? Have I said it wrong? Have I?”

They all kept quiet touched by his words.

Kelvin listening to their conversation from the usher’s room sighed disappointed. He stepped out of the church through the exit door far away from the eyes of the brethren. Brother Yemi was right. No one ever asked how he was faring spiritually.

No one. Luke who was always asking had traveled out of the world. Everyone felt he was okay meanwhile he is struggling to pray personally, he struggles to even observe his quiet time. Just last week, he fell into sin of fornication.

The whole congregation still thinks he is holy. They think he needs no prayer or visitation.

But he does.

In his room yesterday, he had cried to God for forgiveness over his sin. He had wept sore for his failure as a Christian…

His prayer had been with a bitter heart “Is it my fault lord? But no one ever asked if I was still standing? I did fall but no one knew about my spiritual state, they never asked “he cried.

Writer’s Thought:

When last did you pray for your spiritual leader?

That brother or sister in your church that is always kabashing and doing exploits, yes those ones; when last did you pray for them?

That friend in the Lord who is always assisting you to grow in Christ, when last did you pray for him/her?

When last did you ask how they fare or even visited them?

When last have you asked if they are still standing in the Lord?

Do you really care about them? They on their knees pray for you,have you prayed for them and their family?

Ever asked God to help them not to fall into temptation?

We truly care for our leaders and one another in Christ if we learn to pray for one another even without them asking.

Learn how to pray for each other, be on bent knees for those over you. Spiritual leaders need prayers, pray for them.

Before they fall out of grace, keep praying.

Remember, your leaders in the Lord do pray for you especially pastors. Never stop praying for them also. They need it.

Pray without ceasing for one another that we be kept safe and secured in true holiness.

God Bless You. Amen

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