Read the title of the Open letter series again Why should I admit my mistake? Or should we say how do I admit my mistake? I am writing this letter because quite a few people find it difficult to admit they are wrong? Some even find it difficult to say a simple word of sorry. Is there anything special with admitting you are sorry even when you’re not the one in the wrong? Is there really a need to be sorry when you as a boss or leader offends those under you either with your words or inactions?
Let me begin with this, admitting your mistakes takes nothing from you, it doesn’t reduce your height, wisdom, beauty or whatever you take pride in, saying sorry tells how matured you are as a person even when you’re not the one who should say it.
In today’s Open Letter Series, we shall consider:
- How do you read the emotions of people around you?
- Why should you admit your mistakes?
- How to break free from your ego?
- The Pathway to Peacemaking
Straight on to the first one, How do you read the emotions of people around you?
I must confess, it is difficult to understand the mood of some individuals; I have had friends like that; I tried understanding them and their feelings but it just wasn’t easy. Sometimes, I wished there was a machine developed to read people’s minds, something affordable yet mobile that can help in understanding emotions. I did my study on how to read emotions and I can only narrow down my research into three main points:
How do I read the emotions of people around me? Or better still why should I?
Remember the letter focuses on how to admit your mistakes and be sorry about it. Well, the thing is, you can’t be sorry about what you do not understand, learning to read emotions will guide you a bit. How then do you read emotions?
1. Study the pitch of their voice: You can tell if someone is unhappy with you with how they speak to you or answer your questions. An individual stressed out, angry, disappointed will show emotions through their tone when speaking to you.
2. Check for nonverbal clues: These include, their eyes, body movements, and posture. Someone said “you can deceive people with your voice but your eyes will reveal the truth no matter how you try” I don’t know how true that is though, but it is said the eyes are the mirror to the soul. If you are not sure you have offended someone close to you, study their body language, their eyes; you might find your answers.
3. The Help of the Holy Spirit: Through my research online on how to understand emotions, no one seems to mention this; and I think it is the most effective of them all. As Christians, we know the importance of the Holy Spirit, read John 16: 7-16 of the Bible if you don’t. Have you ever offended someone and sincerely you didn’t know you did but then the Spirit comes quietly to you and tells you to make amends? I have. Forget about reading emotions, there are some individuals you might never understand if you don’t seek help from God. Kai, have you ever come across people like that? Some are just so tough you wonder why? But don’t worry, with the help of the spirit of God; you are in safe hands.
Now, to the second key point;
Why should you admit your mistakes?
Like I said when I started off this article, some people find it difficult to say sorry, the word I am sorry is just not in their dictionary. Are you in that league of persons? Let me itemize what saying sorry to those you offend can do:
- It shows you value your relationship with the person more than your ego and pride.
- It tells that you, my dear are matured and filled with a true sense of responsibility.
- It is a sign that you prioritize the feelings of others and you know how much it hurts to offend another; I hope you do though.
- It feels you with peace because really a burden has been off your shoulders.
If really you value your relationship with others than your ego,
How then can you break free from ego?
Ever heard this before; “Pride goeth down before a fall”. Permit me to rephrase like this, ‘Ego brings a man down when not curtailed because it is unhealthy’. Hear this, stop being egoistic. That’s one main reason some people find it hard to admit their mistakes, it fills them with the sense of being better, talented, gifted and perfect than another. Even when they are in the wrong, that sense of pride comes in and they say words like this: ‘I can’t tell him, sorry, after all, I am not at fault, he should work more on himself’; ‘I am sure I didn’t owe him an apology, am I not his superior at work?’.
Can you break free from ego? Of course, yes. Ego is a thing of the mind, therefore you need to learn how to work on your mind by putting others first and stop seeing others as nothing. You can’t maintain a relationship for long if you are filled up with ego. Destroy it before it destroys you.
The Path to Peacemaking
A simple apology can be the succor to the soul of the offended, it can bring a smile to the unhappy and can bring about ease of tension in the atmosphere of any relationship. Like I said, admitting your mistakes doesn’t take away from you, it only adds more to you. Therefore, learn to say I am sorry, admit your mistakes because it only helps you to become a better person when you do.
Admitting your Mistakes, Saying Sorry is a sign of maturity
Remember, a word of apology keeps the relationship going. Never feel too proud to say I’m sorry.
Till we meet next week on Monday on #OPLS
Recently on this series: TO THOSE WHO DOUBT THEIR WORTH