“But I have asthma,” I said.
“I can’t still love you less,” Stanley replied.
“I can’t do strenuous jobs, environmental cleanups, especially when the dust is involved,” I said.
“Isabell, I love you all the same,” Stanley replied.
“I know you love fried plantains,” I said and laughed painfully.
“I can’t help you with frying plantains. Neither can I help you in preparing stew. It isn’t because I don’t know how to. You know I have lung issues. I easily get tired. I am not worthy of your love,” I said sadly.
He stared deeply into my eyes.
“I love you just the way you are,” Stanley said.
Three months later, with my arms tucked in his, he walked me down the aisle. While stating our wedding vows, I stared at him intensely while I let my mind quickly drift to how we met.
Do you know what it means to have a God-fearing, loving, caring, and understanding man? Well, I do, because I have Stanley.
We had met a year and three months ago.
My asthmatic attacks were becoming more frequent and severe.
I rarely used inhalers. Reason being that I rarely had the attacks and it wasn’t really severe. I had the attacks sometimes, once or twice in a month.
When it came, I simply go out just so I could breathe in the fresh air, and within 30 minutes, I’d be fine.
So, what should I call that? Partial Asthma? Yeah.
But it became terrible.
Dad had to get drugs from his doctor friend.
He prescribed a drug called “Ventolin” if I’m not mistaken.
He came back home to met me, struggling to breathe. He gave me the drugs and told me to take just a dose. I did, gave him a reassuring smile, and he left.
An hour later, there was no result. I was still panting and gasping for breath. I could have easily called on my parents, but No. I didn’t want to disturb them.
Mum would be ready to stay awake and watch me all night, like a guardian angel. Or maybe, if I did die, let it be that I did while she held unto me.
My Dad…my Dad would pace from the beginning to the end of my room.
“No member of my family has asthma. None from your mum’s either. Where did you get this thing from?” He would say.
But I knew better. I knew he was pained. Under those words was a man frightened to lose his first child to the cold hands of death.
So, on that night, I refused to call any of them.
I struggled, crawled, and got to my reading table. I picked up the drugs, grabbed a cup containing water from the table, and swallowed extra two doses of the Ventolin drugs
I got to my bed and laid back.
Then it happened.
I was panting, yet struggling to conform my body to the bed, in some seconds, I became dizzy. Something was leaving me; I knew my breath is ebbing away, death was near
I resigned to fate.
I prayed and asked God for forgiveness.
Not mercy this time around. It was evident I was leaving already.
Then I died, or so I thought.
The next morning, rays of sunlight hit my face. Weakly, I opened my eyes trying to make sense of the environment I was in. I was in my room.
“I’m alive, I’m alive,” I screamed.
I jumped out of my bed and ran to the sitting room.
I met my mum there. I explained the night’s ordeal to her.
This is another instance where God spared my life.
I saw death.
I was listening to “Too faithful” by Moses Bliss, and it reminded me of this experience.
He’s just too faithful. He never left me half way.
The next day, I left for the hospital.
I had gone to the hospital for my usual check-up after the night’s experience. My doctor wasn’t on sit. Stanley was to be my doctor for that day.
“I need you to recommend another inhaler for me. My Ventolin inhaler isn’t helping,” I said, stopped, and took a long wheezing breath.
I was having terrible difficulties breathing.
He looked at me and flashed a very reassuring smile.
“I’ll give you another inhaler spiced with faith, Jesus, and prayers. You need them. Believe. Have faith in him,” he said.
“But I have faith in him. I believe. I’m a believer. Why can’t he heal me?” I said while a tear dropped from my eye.
“It’s a different thing to have faith. It’s a different thing to be filled with pride”
Surrender to God. He has plans for you.
Plans you can never change.
Just pray and believe.
Tell HIM you surrender.
Tell HIM you want just his will alone to be done in your life. Surrender fully to Him. Stop trying to control your life, the life you never gave to yourself. Surrender fully and see things work in your favor”. He concluded.
I drifted back to the present.
I was in tears now.
“You complete me, Stanley,” I said while I kissed him.
He inserted the ring in my finger and I did the same.
We’ve been married for a year now.
“Isabel.., please give me the sliced plantains already. I want to fry them” Stanley called out from the kitchen.
I strolled into the kitchen with my bulging stomach, gave him the plantains, and spanked his butts playfully.
He turned, held me by the waist and said,
“My love, you are flawlessly flawed”
“You are imperfectly perfect”
“You complete me” He concluded and kissed me on my forehead.
Knowing him was never a mistake.
He made me know Christ more.
I now spit fire.
I’m now better.
I’m now at peace.
Yes , I still have asthma, but I’m doing very better now.
I smiled, hugged him tightly, and rested my head on his broad shoulders.