Awolola Dorcas and Akinola Emmanuel wrote this post; All Rights Reserved by the authors and Daachiever Inc
What is Emotional Cheating? Ever heard of it? It means having an affair as a spouse with another person in his/her mind; their emotions are involved but not their body. The story I am about sharing is quite similar, in this scenario, I’m not married, but maybe I am. Please hear me out, then perhaps you’ll understand and learn. Many Christians are entrapped with emotional entanglement and Cheating unbeknownst to them.
My name is Me (name withheld), and I go to Church, as in very regular for church services, I even hoped to join the choir one day. Then something happened, I “fell” in love and what a fall it was! The first day Brother Him came into Church, it was as if time stopped running. His carriage, body language, dressing, smiles
and attitude were just perfect for me. My mind started racing of its own accord. I was so elated. As I opened the scripture references, I was peeking at him under my eyelids. I couldn’t wait to say hello.
Yes, they had told me that, sometimes it’s normal to feel that way towards a person, but maybe I wasn’t paying attention as to how to handle those feelings. I wish I had known. Read on how to handle attraction as a Christian
Long story cut short, Brother Him became my fantasy, my waking and sleeping moments became filled with Him, in my mind, He was mine. Yes, I was not physically dating but my emotions were his to control. Blessed be the day, he passed by me and said hello! My joy knew no bounds, thank God he finally noticed me. As days rolled into weeks, we became quite close and enjoyed each
other’s company. He was always there to help me out and to support me. His calls, very timely.
We talked and talked and talked. I divulged so many things about myself without any restraints. He was practically my best friend and He knew I was His. Then it happened, I was no more contented with friendship, he was no more contented with our chaste conversations. We began to consider eating the forbidden fruit. All in all, we realized that since our “friendship” wasn’t well defined and didn’t have a purpose, we couldn’t last together. Oh! How my heartaches.
I asked myself lots of questions;
- Couldn’t it have been different?
- Couldn’t I have accepted just his help?
- Couldn’t I have had a long-lasting positive relationship with him?
- Why does this almost always happen between members of the opposite sex in church?
- Are we not supposed to feel anything for each other?
- Don’t people find their life partners in Church and still love them so much?
- What should I have done differently?
Then someone told me to read Proverbs 4:23; “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life”.
How to handle your Emotions as a Child of God: Lessons from Proverbs 4:23
- Yes! It is possible to see someone or get close to them and feel butterflies in your belly. It’s not wrong but Keep your heart, you have to guard it jealousy because all your thoughts and everything you need for life comes from there. You shouldn’t leave it unprotected, just to be broken by every Tom, Dick and Harry.
- Remember, I went to church, couldn’t I have at least prayed? Just to hear what God would say concerning my feelings. Just to ask for the grace to cope. But I thought, probably God wasn’t interested in my love life, but I was wrong. He was very interested.
- I should have put more space between the Brother and myself. I should have told him to please reduce the frequency of His calls especially since he really didn’t come clean as to what he really wanted from the relationship.
- I should have loved God more than I did. I always thought having a man was the only thing that could make me happy, but I was so wrong. Even with the brother, happiness was not constant. Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord and he shall give the desires of thine heart”.
- I should have also been scared that I kept the secret all to myself. Maybe if I had spoken up, someone trusted would have counselled me rightly. Oh, how the devil thrives in secrecy?
All’s well that ends well is the saying. God is merciful and he gives beauty for our ashes. “If we confess our sins, faithful and just is He to forgive us and cleanse us from all our unrighteousness” 1 John1:8. I went back to God, asking for mercy and started following those lessons learnt.
I also moved close to people who taught me how to have healthy relationships with guys. He gave me a fresh start right in His house. Now I have a loving and doting fiancé in a Christly courtship with all necessary people informed. Plus, our watchword is purity.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope you learnt one thing or the other about how I started my own dating even the Brother said Hi, Flee emotional entanglement without heaven’s approval. It does more harm than good. Remember, “Emotion is stronger than knowledge”.