12am;
dear God, today was an hell of a day
and I’m still trying to find heaven
in the words I heard people say.
did you see how they compared me
to things that had no worth?
they all claimed to love me,
but they still don’t care if I’m hurt.

1am;
and I’m all alone with my phone,
saying things to a girl I know sorry cannot atone.
i know my body is your temple,
and there are things it shouldn’t condone,
but her seduction lighted up my desire,
with a fire that burns in my bones

2am;
and I’m still staring at my phone
the brightness burns my eyes
but there’s still darkness in my soul
feasting my eyes on my desires,
in an attempt to make me whole
but sin never satiates,
even pornography can’t fill the hole.

3am;
and I’m tossing and turning on my bed
questioning my existence and the demons playing in my head
worrying about my future, worrying about tomorrow
wondering if my destiny was to find joy in the midst of sorrow.

4am;
dear God, are you still there?
I’m trying to talk to you, please tell me you still care.
I’m tired of the lies, the lust and the depression that kept me on the edge of a knife
I need your grace, your love and light to permeate my life.

5am;
and it’s another night that I couldn’t sleep
’cause it’s hard to find rest when the pain hits so deep.
so now I lay down my pains, my struggles and my mourning
’cause I know the sorrows may last the night, but joy comes in the morning.

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Did you enjoy this poem? Read an interview featuring the Author on his latest book HERE