The Presbyterian Pastor Episode 2

Did you miss episode 1? Don’t worry, navigate here: EPISODE 1

THE PRESBYTERIAN PASTOR EPISODE 2

He couldn’t sleep; even while he shut tightly his eyes against the blinding effect of the white translucent bulb; his mind was troubled.

Their faces

He kept seeing their faces

He didn’t want to; the trust in their eyes scared him

They were hopeful, he was helpless

He wished someone could see the facade he had on

He was a liar, he didn’t deserve their trust

Did they know he was no pastor? He didn’t even know how to forgive his own father? How could they look at him; eyes filled with trust. He is scared, what if they discovered he is not who he was?

Hosea opened his eyes letting out a soft sigh

God, I don’t understand.

Why me?

You know me?

How unrighteous I am?

I can’t seem to forgive my father

I know I ought to forgive him, but not yet God.

I can’t forgive a father who hates me

I am fraud

I am timid

I get scared easily

I would only be deceiving those whose eyes held trust for me if I act like a pastor that I wasn’t

I can’t do this, I tried reasoning it; why had I come? Why didn’t I battle it out in words with my father?

Why had you taken away being rebellious from me?

I wish I had courage to disobey my father

But- I can’t

I can’t; I am so religiously righteous

Why had I come knowing who I am and what I was capable of?

I am nothing; God, you know it?

I am nothing; this is the reality

Hosea… Hosea… the voice whispered

Speak, God

Silence engulfed the room

“It happened again” he muttered

Ever since he gave his life to Christ; he has never heard God speak to him for minutes. Whenever he was troubled, all he hears was his name.

“I am not worthy, this proves it” even though it was the truth, he could help but swallow down his disappointment.

He wasn’t worthy of anything

His father point blankly told him that night when the trajectory of his life changed. He could remember the night when his brief moment of happiness turned sour.

That night…

His father had walked into his room the night of his graduation from Marvel’s University; he was busy replying to some congratulatory messages sent to him by well-wishers on Facebook and WhatsApp grinning ear to ear. He was happy, not only had he graduated as the best graduating student in his department, he was offered a scholarship to intern at a huge computer company. He felt fulfilled.

“Dad” he looked up at his father who didn’t say a word, not even a simple congratulation when he dropped his certificate some hours ago. Was he here because he felt guilty? Maybe he has approved him as a brilliant son? Maybe…

“You leave in two weeks” Mr. Makinde huskily spoke, his hands tucked into the black pants.

“Leave? To where?” he asked surprised, but knowing who his father was, a man of ridiculously few words; Hosea picked up the envelope his father dropped on the table his hands rested on seconds ago.

He opened the envelope to read from its content

Dear, Mr. Hosea

Calvary greeting in the name of our Lord Jesus, we are pleased to inform you that you have been offered a scholarship in ST. MATTHIAS THEOLOGY AND SEMINARY SCHOOL. We can’t wait to have you on board. Your passport and accommodation fee have been covered; you don’t have to worry about a thing.

We hope to see you soon!!!

Yours in His Grip,

Anthonio Kimberly

“I registered you some months ago; you should start preparation. Every member of the church is sending their children there, so you won’t be lonely or without friends”

“W…h…a…t? he stuttered dropping the envelope

What about his dream? He thought bitterly. Was his father repaying him with this?

“That’s the least I can do for you; you should be proud I am helping you with this. The most rewardable service on earth is that given to God. You should be proud” He sounded pleased with what he had done; Hosea could tell with a single look at his father.

“I am not going”

“Oh yes, you are. You know, there is a calling upon your head. You have been called to be a pastor. Forget all your measly dreams. Set your affection on things above son”

“Dad, I have dreams too” he said with anger welling up in him

“Your dreams are ungodly. It doesn’t tally with God’s purpose for you”

“And who are you to know God’s purpose over my life?” he scoffed

“I am your father; don’t you dare speak to me like that?”

“And you are going to USA, so don’t try to argue it out. I told you didn’t I? Remember what I told you three or four years ago”

Of course he did. He remembered he was the happiest son on earth when four years ago his father gave him full support to study computer science in school. Oh how, he had thought his father was finally seeing the potential in him; like a fool he had thanked his father like a puppy wags his tail at his master at the sight of food.

The feeling he had could not be described; even his mother had rejoiced with him; that day felt his birthday but—good things don’t last for long? Or does it? He knew it doesn’t because a year after, his father had called to come home; he said they must talk.

“Hosea, since I allowed you do what you wanted; there will be a time you have to do my will. You know, I need a successor in church” he said patting his shoulder with a smile

“You should understand son; I can’t leave the church to strangers”

Strangers?

His father had called those who had served under him for twenty-five years’ strangers. Of course, what did he expect? His father believed he could never be wrong; but this time he was going; he didn’t want to be a pastor. He had dreams, he had dreams and he was going to pursue after them.

“I am not going. A company offered me internship opportunity in Canada. I already sent a response mail to them” he confessed

“Davuls Computer?”

“Yes” he looked at his father surprised.

How did he know?

“That company belongs to my friend; I was the one who recommended you to him some years ago, I didn’t know he will actually give you the scholarship. In fact, he called me two days ago, I told him you wouldn’t be coming. He sent you a mail, check it son”

“You did what?” Hosea stood up from the bench

Reality dawned in; he was only a puppet to his father, his efforts didn’t matter to him; father gets what he wants

“Why, why?” He spoke softly as frustrating tears dropped down

“Son, it is for your good”

“My good? Oh, I doubt that. It isn’t” he looked at his father with disgust

“You are going son; don’t worry you will appreciate me later. I know it is a lot to process but you know—I have always been proud of you. Go make me proud and be a pastor” his father smiled taking a step out of his room.

Latest on our ongoing challenge: YOUR PROGRESS AND YOU

Hosea broke down into frustrating tears on his knees that night, beating his chest violently; he whispered

“Why him? Why is he my father?”

“God, why?” he bit his lips crying the more

God, how can I forgive him?

How? Hosea said beating his chest, he was finding it hard to breathe.

The night, everything changed for him. He became a man of few words, he never told anyone of his dream or ambition. He lost the spark in his eyes, he lost his dream following after the wishes of his father. He felt his father was a cross he must be willing to carry, a thorn in his flesh he couldn’t bear to remove.

The next morning,

There was a slight knock on his door; Hosea rose up to answer. Perhaps the General was leaving for the barrack? He wondered buttoning up his shirt.

Last night, he had made a decision

He was going to leave the town

How would the general and soldiers take in the information? His mind was troubled

What would he tell them?

“Hello” the sonorous voice called, it was the General’s daughter. Her voice was familiar, he wondered why.

“Are you up?” she asked when there was no reply

Is he still sleeping? She wondered, it was seven into the morning.

“Mr. Hosea, Mr. Hose..” she had not completed her words when the wooden door opened.

“I am coming” Hosea said not looking up, he was putting on his wrist watch. When he noticed she wasn’t leaving, he looked up and then gasped…

“Martha, good gracious; is that you Martha?”